*at lawyer's office* Me: I want to divorce my idiot wife, she's seeing a surgeon *idiot wife pops out from under desk* that's so not true!

NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! Except my government, boss, his wife, my girlfriend, my parents, my doctor, friends, neighbours, their dogs...

The Dentist A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, ""Doctor, I'm in a big hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf. So forget about the anaesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it. I don't have time to wait for the anaesthetic to work!"" The dentist thought to himself, ""My goodness--this sure is a very brave man, asking me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain."" So the dentist asked h…

Three women walk into a doctors office... (x-post from r/funny) ...So the doctor calls in the first one in for her exam. she takes off her shirt and has a big H tattooed on her chest. The doctor asks why there is an H on her chest to which she says: ""My husband went to Harvard and he likes to see the H when we do it."" The doctor finishes his exam and sends her on her way. The doctor calls the second one in. When she takes off her shirt, the doctor notices a big Y on her chest. When the doctor …