wife: "just break it to him gently" me: "ok ill try" [tucking son in bed] me: [opening story book] "once upon a time your grandma's dead"

A man and his boss are playing golf... one weekend when a funeral procession goes past. The man takes off his hat and stands silently with eyes downcast. He doesn't move until the procession is out of sight. The man's boss, an elderly gentleman, approves. ""You don't often see respect like that much among you young folk these days"" he says as they resume their game. ""Well, I thought it was only right."" Replies the man. ""After all, we'd been married for ten years.""

A man's wife is going to kick him out of the house for drinking too much. Joe and his friends frequent one bar in town a lot and his wife hates it. She thinks he drinks entirely too much and it is causing a problem in their marriage . After one particularly long bender Joe ends up puking all over himself before he stumbles back home. Joe wakes up to his wife screaming at him. She threatens that he really needs to cut back on the drinking and if she sees him come home like this one more time she …

Two wives go out for girls night. Both got drunk, started walking home and had to pee. They stopped at a cemetery but had nothing to wipe with. One used her panties the other grabbed a wreath off a grave. The next morning one husband called the other and said, ""no more girls night out! my wife came back with no panties."" The other husband said, ""you think that's bad? mine came back with a card in her crack that read ""from all of us at the fire station... we'll never forget you""!!