From now on instead of saying #1 or #2 for the bathroom I'm going to call it an R. Kelly or Amber Heard

Why didn't R. Kelly make it as a hockey player? He was never interested in scoring after the first period.

An Irish joke from Murphy (Best read drunk) Kelly showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell over with joy. Kelly hadn’t been to church in years.

Kelly was standing in front of Cohan's Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car jumped in and pulled on the emerge