Kelly was standing in front of Cohan's Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car jumped in and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him ""I stopped it!"" ""I know you idiot!"" said the man. ""I was pushing it!""
Me: My son totaled another car. Progressive: I see that you insure 3 teen sons? M: yes P: *covers phone* HEY GUYS, WE'RE GOING TO ARUBA!
*wakes up to wife and son screaming* me: What are you guys yelling about? them: YOU'RE DRIVING
Cop: Know why I stopped you? The dead guy in my trunk? Cop: Um, speeding, but my shift's over, so proper burial and no more murders. Ok?
[car dealership] WIFE: let me do the talking, ur a terrible negotiator SALESMAN: u can drive off with this car for 18k ME: we'll double that
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