Appropriate for Election Season A man dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates and asks his profession. The man says he was a politician. ""Ah,"" says St. Peter, ""then you may choose whether you would like to go to heaven or hell. You may spend one week in heaven, then one week in hell. At the end of the two weeks, you may decide where you would likes to spend the rest of eternity."" So the man goes first to heaven. Everyone sits around peacefully strumming their harps and lounging on clouds. It's pleasant, but not much exciting happens, and no one he knows is there. The man thinks to himself, ""man, heaven isn't all it's cracked up to be."" Next, the man goes to hell. He's greeted upon arrival by all his old political cronies and pals, they play golf, grill out, drink beer, and party late into the night all week long. The man is surprised. ""Damn,"" he thinks, ""hell is a lot better than I thought!"" He returns to the Pearly Gates where St. Peter once again meets him. ""Your two weeks are up,"" the angel says, ""where have you chosen to go?"" ""Well, shocked as I am to say this,"" the politician confesses, ""I think I'd rather go to hell."" ""No problem,"" St. Peter says, and the man is instantly transported to hell. But it is not how he remembered. It's hot and miserable, and everyone is screaming in pain. ""Satan,"" he bemoans, ""what happened? When I was here before, everything was great!"" Satan shrugs and says, ""the campaign's over.""