$40 Bill is out with his friends drinking, and realizes he is way too drunk and it is way too late. He has to go home. As he gets up to go, his drinking catches up with him, and he pukes all over his shirt. ""Shit!"" yells Bill, ""Now my wife is going to know I was drinking tonight!"" ""Don't worry about it,"" says Bill's pal Steven, ""Put a $20 in the pocket, tell her someone else puked on you and that they gave you the $20 so you can get the shirt cleaned."" ""Genius!"" replies Bill, and heads off home. He sneaks in the house quietly, successfully gets into bed without awaking his wife, and sleeps the night away. When he gets up and goes downstairs for breakfast, his wife says, ""I know you were drinking, because there's puke all over your shirt. I want a divorce."" ""No, honey,"" says Bill, quickly remembering the story Steven had told him to tell. ""A guy on the train puked on me, and he gave me $20 to clean the shirt."" He pulled the money from the shirt and handed it to his wife. Bill's wife unfolded the money and looked again at Bill suspiciously. ""Why is there $40 here?"" ""Oh, I forgot,"" said Bill, ""He shit my pants, too.""