[OC/Longgg] (Experimental Christmas Poem) - ""Santa's Big Fat Sack is Coming""    Santa's Big Fat Sack is coming! Down the Lane and through the Dell. Santa's Big Fat Sack is coming, Know this Tale and Hark thee well.    Santa's Sack is glistening Red From the Tension of its Presents. Every Girl and Boy awaits - Tensely squirming for Its Presence.    Santa's Big Fat Sack is coming, Shoving down your Chimney Hole. Haunting you in every Household, Music in Department Stores.    Santa chews his Milk & Cookies, Sitting by an Open Fire. Santa's Big Fat Sack awaits, On his Sled are our Desires.    Tis' the Season for his Sack, Push your Legs, Bow your Back. You will work to fill the Sack, You'll accrue some Overtime.    Santa's Big Fat Sack is coming, Cuckold to the Sack you'll be! Only Santa's Big Fat Sack Deposits Presents round your Tree!    Wrapping paper, Christmas Morning: Santa's Sack has Flown and Gone. But Know that Santa always Watches, From his Icy Winter Throne.    If you're Nice, the Sack will Bulge, For the Naughty, it'll Wither. Now, forever - Frozen Winter. Now! Send your Wishes! 3, 2, 1... (Everyone says their wish.)       **Standard Acknowledgement of The Oath-Bound Order:**       **Read Santa's Big Fat Sack is Coming, out loud, every December 18th at the Exact Stroke of Midnight.**       **Carefully recite each of these Words and surely you'll successfully invoke Santa and his Big, Jolly, Fat Sack.** ""Santa's Big Fat Sack is Coming,"" in deference to longtime readers who know the whole tale by heart, is a postmodern fable. Some brief groundwork for this fable and an explanatory conclusion now follow: A literary *chef d'oeuvre* inspired by the classic Christmas tradition, SBFSiC plays with the nature of reality, dancing around the questions it naturally encourages with an ever evolving pattern of words. Just enough words, however, to contain the whole: the whole recipe to properly invoke Santa. Proper recitation will result in delivery of presents. However, in the case of the naughty who are judged to be exceptionally such, their perception of ""time"" will transcend to a purgatory of infinite cold. Their fate similar to falling into a black hole, as perceived from the outside and the inside of the event horizon at the same time. Emergently, the story's web of thought organizes structure and meaning. Each line glows with kinetic poeticism. Every passing moment leading to the end is more tender and meaningful than the last. SBFSiC has long-suffered criticism as posing an unfair challenge to the neophyte, who simply desires the reward of nice presents and holiday cheer with little to no work or effort expended. But as we've clearly established, the Sack Invocation requires each word be read exactly, and this fact fills some with nervous trepidation. As a piece of advice, reading the poem aloud encourages dogged studiousness in accuracy. Practice makes perfect. Not just an allegory, the eponymous Sack is a wholly physical object capable of delivering unbridled joy on the special day! It is, in short, also a literal sack. Realize that the poem is not yet over. To reinforce, this sentence, these concluding thoughts are part of the poem and should be recited as part of the Midnight Invocation every December 18th. Suddenly, the recitation appears to be over. There are no words left, unless you accidentally stopped after the line above. Then you must start from the beginning again. Recite half as quickly. Slow down and take your time. Practice makes perfect. Regardless of the interesting nature of content which precedes the end moment itself, your overall level focus in recitation of the poem may annually vary. Reading, for example, the co-requisite concluding segment may prove difficult at midnight a week before Christmas. But as a fair reminder to your family, and especially your hopeful children, **each word must be recited exactly as it appears, and only in the English language, to the precise syllable.** If you do not speak English, consult your phone book for an interpreter willing to translate the text, along with your wishes to Santa included after the above count of 3, 2, 1... Important note: go on ""1,"" there is no actual ""0"" moment, or additional wait as may be suggested by the ellipses. The included ellipses merely serve as a grammatical device to serve the flow of the poem. Everyone should share their wish simultaneously, at the moment the reader says ""1."" If you neglect to fully read through the full length of the conjuration, it will fail and Santa will cease to exist in your family's universe. The true last word required for invocatory catalyst follows the above background & explanation. To wit, that word is this one here. Sack.