You die and arrive at The Pearly Gates... and as you're about to check-in you see that the walls are covered in thousands of clocks; each one with a small name carved underneath. Curious you ask St. Peter the obvious question, ""what's with all these clocks on the wall?"" A wry smile appears on his face. ""Simple"" he chortles. ""Everyone on Earth has a clock and when their time runs out... they die."" All seems legit you think to yourself. Just then out of the corner of your eye you see one of the clock's hands swing round and jump down by an hour. ""Whoa, what was that?"" you ask St. Peter. ""Oh that"" he sniggers. ""Well, you see, every time a person on Earth, you know, ahem... pleasures themselves, five knuckle shuffle... you get the picture; well their clock here in heaven instantly counts down a whole hour"" ""Oh"" you exclaim slightly bemused. But nevertheless you have a look round and can see most of your friends and family and how long they all have left. Suddenly you realise you can't see [Insert name of person you are telling the joke to here e.g. John] John's clock. ""Where's my mate John's clock? John Smith; lives in Hackney, London"" you ask St Peter. ""Hmmmm that name is familiar... John Smith... John Smith. John Sm.... Ah yes!"" St Peter exclaims. ""We keep John's clock in our main kitchen and use it as an extractor fan!""