*Husband buys me flowers* Me: Aw sweet, but don't waste money on things that are going to die. Him: But you keep buying the cat food.

Milk Cow There's an old poor dirt farming family, living on an old poor dirt farm, trying to raise dirt. And the only thing they had that was worth anything at all was this milk cow. It was a really good milk cow, gave a lot of high grade milk. Then they'd take the milk, and make milk and cheese, and sell the excess to get food. And the only thing keeping them going was this milk cow. Now one day, the farmer woke up and he looked outside, and he noticed that his milk cow was dead. He didn't know…

The Man and the Shaggy Dog Once upon a time, a man decided to climb a mountain. He took a nasty fall, badly bruising himself, and landed in the woods next to a shaggy-haired dog. Despite his injuries, he limped back to his house, where he left the dog, then to the nearest hospital, where he got some x-rays. When he got home, the dog looked hungry, so he made a steak just for the dog, and turned on the television. He was just about to call the pound when he heard that a wealthy couple, on vacatio…

Watch what you eat The old lady put 6 cans of dog food on the supermarket conveyer belt, and began digging in her purse for her coupon. The cashier was the friendly sort, and struck up a conversation. ""So, what kind of dog do you have?"" ""Well,"" the old lady answered in a hushed tone, ""I don't really have a dog. With the price of meat these days, I've figured out that I can make some good, cheap casseroles using dog food. My husband doesn't seem to know the difference, so I'm saving a lot of…