Milk Cow There's an old poor dirt farming family, living on an old poor dirt farm, trying to raise dirt. And the only thing they had that was worth anything at all was this milk cow. It was a really good milk cow, gave a lot of high grade milk. Then they'd take the milk, and make milk and cheese, and sell the excess to get food. And the only thing keeping them going was this milk cow. Now one day, the farmer woke up and he looked outside, and he noticed that his milk cow was dead. He didn't know what to do, so he hanged himself in the barn. Then the mother woke up, and the milk cow's dead, and the husband's dead, and she goes down to the river and she throws herself in. And drowns, and washes up on the rocks on the shore. Then the son wakes up and he sees the dead cow and the dead father, and he goes down to the river and there's the dead mother and a leprechaun. A woman leprechaun. The women leprechaun says ""Hey, you're having a rough day today are ya?"" He says ""Sure, I am."" She says ""I'll tell you what, I'll make a deal with you: if you make love to me ten times, in a row, without stopping, I'll bring everybody back to life, including the milk cow."" And he says ""Well, look at you, look at me; I'm young, I'm virile, you're good looking; I think I'll have at it."" So he tried and he didn't make it so she killed him. Then the other brother wakes up, and the milk cow's dead, and the father's hanged himself, and the mother and the brother are washed up on the shore dead, and there's this female leprechaun. She says ""Having a rough day?"" He said ""I should say so."" She says ""Well I'll tell you what, I'll make a deal: if you make love to me ten times in a row, I'll bring everybody back to life, even the milk cow."" And he says ""I'll give it a go."" But he didn't quite make it, she killed him then. Finally the youngest son, he's 17, he wakes up and he looks: the milk cow's dead, the father's dead, the mother and two brothers are dead, and there's this girl leprechaun standing there. She says ""You're having a rough day?"" He says ""I guess so."" She says ""Tell you what, I'll bring everybody back to life, including the milk cow, if you make love to me ten times in a row."" And he says ""Okay. But let me ask you this: what if I were to make love to you fifteen times in a row without stopping?"" And she laughed for a while, and says ""Well if you could do that, I'd bring everybody back to life, even the cow, and I'd give you a nice mansion where your hovel is now."" He said ""Okay, but what if I were to make love to you twenty times in a row without stopping?"" She says ""I'd bring everybody back to life, even the milk cow, I'd give you a nice mansion where your hovel is now, and I'd give you a big crock of gold - you'd be set for life."" And he says ""Well that sounds pretty good, and we can start in a minute, but first I have to ask you: if I make love to you twenty times in a row without stopping, what's to prevent *you* from dying from it? [The milk cow did](#s).""