Two Friends on a Hunting Trip I work as a park ranger, and this rather lengthy story was passed on to my by a buddy of mine. Not so long ago two good friends from college decided to have a ten year reunion. One was a successful certified public accounted who lived in San Francisco. A rising star in his field, he invited his buddy to fly back to the States for a unique reunion trip. This friend was a fashion designer born, raised, and living in Prague, a Czechoslovakian. The two friends boarded their respective planes, one from San Francisco International and the other from Prague and the two were reunited in Anchorage Alaska, ready to set out on a four day bear hunting expedition. The two men had secured an all expenses paid expedition, every last detail minutely addressed. Hotels, back-country lodging, outfits, weapons, four by fours, everything down to the last bullet was there waiting as they caught a bush-plane flight into the interior of the state. As with most hunts, there was paperwork to be filled out prior to delving into the woods, and the two friends pulled into the ranger station late one afternoon to sign the necessary forms. While doing so, they made small talk with the ranger who quickly realized the two city boys had never held a gun in their lives before, much less gone hunting. Working an extra hour over time, he taught the men as much as he could about gun safety and hunting, and before signing off on the last form, pulled a map and told the men about his secret hunting spot some miles down a little used trail. ""Fellas, I've been here 20 years and it never fails that there are at least two griz in that clearing..."" The two men thanked him and headed off, ignoring the exasperated smile on the rangers face. Faced with two green as grass hunters, the old hand realized the two would be hard pressed to find his spot, and if they did, the trigger happy buddies would make short work of any scrawny black bear this did come across. Plus, he could charge them the cost of skinning the next day. Late that night, the ranger was awoken by a awful pounding at his front door. Since he was next to the ranger station and 'on call'. he opened the door to find the CPA from California an absolute mess. Blood streamed down his face, his clothing was torn, and between great sobs he managed to gasp out that a bear had attacked and eaten his friend. A man eating bear was of great concern, so the ranger quickly packed his gear, grabbed his bear rifle, and headed off to the scene of the grizzly crime with the CPA. On arrival, the two men found not one, but two griz, fast asleep in the early morning. One was a trophy male bear, easily one of the largest the ranger had ever seen. The other was a smaller, almost scrawny looking thing, far more commonly found in this part of the state. Around the two were scattered bits of tent, camping gear, food, and a few bloody bits of the poor fashion designer. Asked to identify which bear had attacked and eaten his friend, the Californian was suddenly faced with a moral crisis. He was reasonably sure the smaller bear was the one that had devoured his buddy. Yet, the other bear was an amazing specimen, which would look great on the floor of his living room. A true trophy male... ""Ranger, I think it was the bigger one there."" Sure enough, the ranger set up, shot, and dispatched the bigger bear and the smaller one ran into the woods. The creature was opened up, and no human remains could be found. And the moral of this story, my friends, is that you should never, ever, trust a CPA when he says the Czech is in the male.