A one-way trip to Mars NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn't return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. ""A million dollars,"" he answered, ""because I want to donate it to M.I.T."" The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. ""I want to give a million to my family,"" he explained, ""and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research…

A doctor, a lawyer, a priest, and an engineer are golfing... ... and they keep getting held up by a twosome in front of them. The two guys can't hit straight, take forever to find their balls, they are terrible, and no amount of yelling at them seems to help. Finally the greenskeeper comes around in his cart so they flag him down. The greenskeeper says, "Oh, those two guys are the firemen who rescued the orphans from the burning building last year! They are both blind and can't hear very we…

[hs reunion] JANE: i'm an engineer TOM: i'm a real estate developer AMY: i'm a lawyer *everyone looks at me* ME: *panics* i'm a hospital

The miser's will A notorious miser died, and in his will he left his $3 million estate split evenly among his three sons: a doctor, a priest, and a lawyer. Being selfish even in death, he left each of them strict instructions to put the money in his coffin when they buried him. After the funeral, the three were talking, and the doctor said ""I have a confession to make. I didn't actually put all the money in the coffin -- it seemed like such a waste. I kept out $200,000 to buy some new equipment…