An Inspector goes to a Processing Plant So an inspector goes to a processing plant. He walks up to the manager and says: I hear you keep your animals in horrible conditions. I'm here to write a report.' The manager gives a cold smile and says: Where would you like to start?' Let's start with your pigs,' says the inspector. So the manager takes him down to the pig pens. The room is like a dungeon, full of iron cages, the walls crammed with an assortment of wicked-looked knives and bloody saws. Everything is covered in flies and viscera... but there are no pigs. And the manager says: How can we keep our pigs in such terrible conditions, when we have no pigs?' The inspector is confused, but not shaken. He presses: Alright, take me to your chickens.' So they go to the chicken pens. The room stinks of misery; there are crammed cages in towers up to the ceiling, full of fetid straw and reeking of urea... but no chickens to be seen. And the manager says: As you can see, how can we mistreat our chickens, when we have no chickens?' The inspection finishes, and the manager walks the inspector back to the entrance. Before he leaves, he asks the inspector: So what did you think of our plant?' And the inspector says: This place is a wretched stain on our planet, full of barbed wire and toxic thoughts. The injustice in every square foot would drive any honest man to tears. But so far as I can tell... there's no ham, no fowl.'