Spercomputer was asked to find an alternative to Clinton and Trump to save presidential election. The computer picked up a 80-year-old one-legged man from mental hospital in Georgia. When he was asked: ""How could you be a better alternative? You are older than any of them, sicker than Clinton and even more insane than Trump?"", he answered: ""Well, maybe because I'm honest about it""
"Seriously, is that what I look like?" - robot watching a guy 'doing the robot'
Kids: haha you have to work and we don't have school today Me *closing the front door* I changed the wifi password. Love you guys!
Her: Prove that you care about me Me: *Takes my phone off the charger and plugs in hers
Finally looked up from my phone screen and noticed I'm being passed around by the crowd at a Blink 182 concert.
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