Gentlemen...BEHOLD! Puns. What do you call a cool mushroom?...A fun guy!!! A neutron walks into a bar. ""I'd like a beer"" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. ""How much will that be?"" asks the neutron. ""For you?"" replies the bartender, ""no charge"" A guy walks into a restaurant, and takes a seat. Across the room he see's a panda bear eating a large pile of bamboo. Upon finishing the bamboo a waiter comes to the pandas table. The panda then shoots the waiter in the head, gets u…

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.

I'll usually order the chicken sandwich. I like my food to be more cowardly than I am.

told my girl I was going to a wine tasting, now she's coming and I was just gonna eat a dead bird and some expired cat food behind a Costco