''My God! What happened to you?'' the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast. ''I got in a tiff with Riley.'' ''Riley? He's just a wee fellow,'' the barkeep said, surprised. ''He must have had something in his hand.'' ''That he did,'' Kelly said. ''A shovel it was.'' ''Dear Lord. Didn't you have anything in your hand?'' ''Aye, that I did -- Mrs. Riley's left boob.'' Kelly said. ''And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight.''
From now on instead of saying #1 or #2 for the bathroom I'm going to call it an R. Kelly or Amber Heard
Why didn't R. Kelly make it as a hockey player? He was never interested in scoring after the first period.
An Irish joke from Murphy (Best read drunk) Kelly showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell over with joy. Kelly hadn’t been to church in years.
Kelly was standing in front of Cohan's Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car jumped in and pulled on the emerge
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