I bet 2 guys named Eric would have an easier time starting a sleepover camp for infants than 2 guys named Sid.

My mate Sid had his ID stolen. ""So now i just call him S""

'Appearances can be deceiving' said my fortune cookie message; then I realized I've cracked open a snail.

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.