I bet 2 guys named Eric would have an easier time starting a sleepover camp for infants than 2 guys named Sid.

My mate Sid was a victim of I.D theft. He's just called S now.

'Appearances can be deceiving' said my fortune cookie message; then I realized I've cracked open a snail.

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.