Why we put an angel on top of the Christmas tree: Santa was having a rough Christmas Eve. His elves were on strike. Several reindeer ran away. Mrs. Claus was being bitchier than normal. And, he had to work all night. Without any help, he wrapped up the presents, put them in the sack, and loaded up the sleigh. As he was taking off, the sack got caught on the garage and ripped open. Presents spilled everywhere. While he was picking everything up, an angel showed up. This beautiful, cheery heavenly being, holding a huge perfect-looking Douglas Fir, walked up to Santa and joyfully said, ""Good tidings, Santa Claus! What a wonderful time of the year this is! I have brought a Christmas tree for your lovely wife. Where would you like me to stick it?"" And thus began a tradition.
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I guess "Victoria's Secret Angel" does sound better than "flightless pantybird"
GOD: That's the last of the animals. Now add warning colors to the poison ones ANGEL: Will do GOD: But not all of them, keep some surprises
[creating the armadillo] GOD: I want a half turtle, ANGEL: Okay G: Half pig, A: Okay, I'm on it- G: Half anteater A: ...Are u drunk G: Very
[inventing flies] GOD: make them eat shit ANGEL: got it GOD: make their babies the grossest things in the world ANGEL: ok who hurt you?
Joke ID:
01KKTNCR55FDQWT9HJE39TKNG7