America only considers a war a success if we build a Bed Bath and Beyond in the enemy's capital.

Hey General Motors, what about an electronic drum set on the steering wheel? You're welcome.

If I was in the military, I would be a sniper. That way I can lie down a lot.

Bird of peace? The dove Bird of war? The hawk Bird of true love? ..wait for it... .... The swallow *walks offstage