Jake wanted a brother Jake had been asking his father for a brother the whole morning. His dad got annoyed so he gave little Jake some seeds. ""Just put these by the window, it attracts the storks!"" A few months later the neigbors had a baby delivered. Little Jake went to the newfound father and said: ""Just so you know, that wasn't because of your seed, it was because of my dad's seed!""
HERE'S A KID WITH NO ARMS AND NO LEGS AND HIS PARENTS ARE DEAD AND YOU'LL DIE SOON TOO, BUY THINGS. - Super Bowl Commercials in a nut shell
Next time someone wants you to hold a baby, say "I'm so bad with live babies!"
im an adult! i make my own bedtimes! i'll stay up all night and function at a fraction of my capacity! like a giant grown-up lethargic baby!
Wrapping presents takes a LOT longer when your kid sneaks up behind you & cuts off your arm with an empty wrapping paper tube lightsaber.
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