Donald Trump goes on a fact-finding visit to Israel. While he is on a tour of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and dies. The undertaker tells the American Diplomats accompanying him, ""You can have him shipped home for $50,000, or you can bury him here, in the Holy Land for just $100."" The American Diplomats go into a corner and discuss it for a few minutes.They come back to the undertaker and tell him they want Donald shipped home. The undertaker is puzzled and asks, ""Why would you spend $…

A man marries a Jewish woman, and for their honeymoon they go to Israel. The mother-in-law insists that she come along. Reluctantly, the couple allows her along the trip. After only two days, the mother-in-law has a heart attack and dies. The daughter is so distraught that the husband is left to make all the funeral arrangements by himself. He's sitting in the undertaker's office when he walks back in. ""Well,"" says the undertaker, ""I've got some bad news. If you want to ship the body back to …

An old Jewish couple An old Jewish husband and wife went to visit Israel on vacation. They were in Bethlehem and Jerusalem and other big cities. The wife came down with an illness and was unable to be treated and passed away. The man was given two options... To have his wife buried in Israel with a traditional Jewish ceremony for only $450 or to have his wife's body flown back to America to have the ceremony and burial there for around $10,000. The Jewish man answered very quickly, ""Have her fl…

An old Jewish man is leaving the Soviet Union An old Jewish man was finally allowed to leave the Soviet Union, to emigrate to Israel. When he was searched at the Moscow airport, the customs official found a bust of Lenin. Customs: What is that? Old man: What is that? What is that?! Don't say "What is that?" say "Who is that?" That is Lenin! The genius who thought up this worker's paradise! The official laughed and let the old man through. The old man arrived at Tel Aviv airport, where an Is…