Coming back to London after his latest tour ended in Brazil, Phil Collins found that his head was itching. He thought, ""Hmm, I'd better see someone about this,"" and got himself to a doctor. Sure enough, the doctor found small insects in his scalp. He asked, ""Were you by any chance riding a llama with fleas?"" ""No,"" Phil said, ""it's all been alpaca lice.""
DAD: wat am i chopped liver CHOPPED LIVER: [in this joke imagine choped liver is a sentiemt being] wat the hell is that suposed to mean phil
[first day as London tour guide] And over there is the Tower of [frantically flips through guide book for like 20 minutes] Eiffel.
If I was Phil Collins I'd rub my belly after every meal and say 'I'm Full Collins', then insist everyone either laughed or left my house.
[last day at job] "You've made my life a misery, I hate you all" [remembers my car is in the garage and I need a lift] "Not you tho Phil"
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