I'm seeing a lot of blonde jokes, so here's mine. A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were talking about their boyfriends and decided they wanted to give them nicknames. The brunette says, ""I'll name mine 7-Up because he is 7 inches and always up for me."" The redhead says, ""I'll name mine Mountain Dew because he always wants to mount and dew me."" The blonde thinks for a moment and says, ""I'll name my boyfriend Jack Daniels. He's a hard liquor.""
Me: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Me: When you fell from a really high distance. Dating as an atheist is hard.
Saying "oh my gosh you're getting so big!" is cute and acceptable to say to a 6 year old. Not so much to an ex-girlfriend.
When my girlfriend sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn't think I'm a vegan.
"No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 18. "No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 28.
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