How to break bad news like a boss At dawn the telephone rings, ""Hello, Senor Kent? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."" ""Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"" ""Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Kent, that your parrot, he is dead"". ""My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"" ""Si, Senor, that's the one."" ""Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"" ""From eating the rotten mea…

A man goes to a funeral home to bury his dead wife. One of the employees tells him ""We can bury her here in Israel on a good plot of land for $500, or we can bury her in America, but it'll cost you $5000"". The man says ""Ok, let me go home and think about it"". The next day when he comes back to the funeral home the employee asks him ""so what have you decided?"", and the man responds ""bury her in America"". The employee, surprised, asks him ""But why?! It's so much more expensive and we alre…

Mexican fisherman The American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, ""Only a little while."" The American then asked, ""Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more fish?"" The Mexican said, ""With this I have more than enough to s…

Maria, a maid, asks her boss for a raise. Her boss is annoyed and asks, ""Now, Maria, why do you think you deserve a raise?"" Maria: 'Well, Senora, there are three reasons why I want an raise. First, I iron better than you.' Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?' Maria: 'Your husband said so.' Wife: 'Oh.' Maria: 'The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.' Wife: 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?' Maria: 'Your husband did.' Wife: 'Oh.' Maria: 'My third reason is t…