blonde joke 1. four sailor girls have tried to rebuild a titanic. unfortunetely, they crash on an island. the first, being a normal redhead, is an exellent swimmer. she makes it all the way to new york city in just an hour. the second one, a ginger, swims one quarter of the way but drowns. the third, a brunnette, swims about 1 quarter of the way but realizes she too could drown and swims back to the island, deciding eventually she'll try to go back when she is more skilled. the last one, a blonde, swims half the way, gets tired, and turns back. joke 2. three spies, a brunnette, a redhead, and a blonde are adventuring. they all took advice from superhero supercat. but the blonde thought cats were stupid and ignored him while listening to her ipod. now, they had been caught by an army of evil blondes (that are almost as dumb as the blonde spy.) and they are trying to kill the spies. the brunnette and the redhead remember the super hero's advice: ""if you are about to get caught, give them a warning like 'tornado! run!' or 'earthquake ahead!' "" the brunette decides to follow this advice. the army is about to shoot. ""ready.aim."" then, the brunette screams ""I SEE A TORNADO! GO! RUN!''. she escapes back to headquarters. the redhead, remembering also, waits for the ""ready, aim."" sequence. then she tells them there is an earthquake.she too escapes. the army say ""okay, we won't fall for anything again. ready, aim."" the blonde, not knowing what to do, just decides to scream ""FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!!!!"" joke 3 a blonde is in a canoe in the middle of a field. another blonde comes to a halt in her car next to the first and says ""so *you* are the one making blondes look bad! i should get you for this! you're *really* lucky i don't know how to swim, little gal, cause if i did you'd be toast!!!"" Joke 4. three friends are in the olympics. their names are roxie, (a black haired girl) Amanda, (a redhead) and Dorra, (a blonde.). they are in the finals and have a very tough challenge: they must swim across the ocean. they are using breast stroke. the first and second girl make it in a day. roxie says ""i guess we really beat dorra."" ""yes, we did!"" says Amanda. i no more than a week, Dorra finally shows up. looking angry, she gets out of the water. she finds the friends, gives them a furious look, and screams ""OH MY GOD! what is wrong with you? you'll be illuminated for sure."" Roxie and Amanda ask ""what do you mean?"" Dorra looks at them. ""you know what i mean! i'm talking about you cheated!"" ""and how did we cheat?"" says roxie. ""you used your hands!"" says Dorra. Joke 5. A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry. A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of her car and asks the man what's wrong. ""I feel terrible!"" he explains, ""I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."" The blonde says, ""Don't worry."" She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit. The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight. The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, ""What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"" The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label. It says.. ""Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave."" Joke 6.A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!'' Joke 7. A blonde has her hair dyed brown. A few days later she's out driving through the countryside when she stops her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute woolly creatures, she says to the shepherd, ""If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?"" The shepherd agrees, so the blonde thinks for a moment and says, ""352."" The shepherd is amazed, ""You're right! Which sheep do you want?"" The blonde picks the cutest animal. The shepherd says to her, ""Okay. How's this for a bet? If I can guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"" Joke 8. there is a blonde, a brunnette, and a rehead in front of heavan.in order for them to enter, they must climb 100 whole steps of stairs. they are very nervous about this, hoping they won't fail this test. They may take 1 step at a time whenever God tells them a joke and they cannot laugh, otherwise they will fall down to hell. The Red head falls down on the 55th stair, the Brunette falls down on the 70th stair, and the blonde falls down on the 99th stair. God then asks the blonde, ""You were so close! Why did you laugh?"" And the blonde woman answered, ""I just got the first joke.."" Anti joke bonus! how do you confuse a blonde? you paint yourself green and throw forks at her. p.s. if you're wondering about supercat, he's a superhero i put on cheezburger as a daily comic. EDIT: there, i fixed it, sheesh you didn't have to get so mad about it i'm not good at math. ANOTHER EDIT: i gave it more jokes.