Some Chuck Norris Jokes - Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them. - Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people. Then the grenade exploded. - When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up. - Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away. - Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it without a single remark. - Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone. - When Lee Harvey Oswald shot Kennedy, Chuck Norris caught the bullets with his own bare hands. JFK's head exploded simply because he was so overawed.