Have girl problem? Feel bad for you son. I live in Russia. Have 99 problems. Bear ate car. Wife ate bear. Son ate wife. I eat son now?

I was with my wife in Russia when it starts to drizzle So I say to my wife ""It's raining"" she quickly responds (looking to start a fight) ""Actually, I think it's snowing"". This goes back and forth for a few minutes when I notice my buddy Officer Rudolf of the communist national guard. I go over to him and ask, ""Officer Rudolf, is it raining or snowing?"" He glances over and replies, ""raining, ofcourse"". I turn back to my wife and triumphantly announce, ""See, Rudolf the red knows rain dea…

40 years ago today I married my wife My whole side of the wedding flew over to her home town of Moscow. It was a beautiful ceremony, however i did find some things strange. For instance, the priest never said, ""you may now kiss the bride"", but I just assumed it was purely an American thing and didn't mind. Later during the reception, we were both starving and decided to head over to the buffet to get food. On the way we passed the drink table, where about six people where waiting to get a frui…

An old joke from Soviet Russia during Stalins great purge Ivan and Masja had just gone to sleep when someone banged loudly and on the door and screamed their names. Knowing how KGB made their arrests in the middle of the night Ivan told his wife to hide while he got the door. She anxiously hid under the bed when Ivan came back. ""Relax Masja"" he said, ""there is no need to be worried"" ""It was just Osip telling us our house is on fire""