a soldier finds himself outside after night fall A soldier finds himself outside his base of operations in a foreign country after night fall. He managed to find himself back at the main gate of entry but was unable to produce any physical evidence that he was in fact born and raised in the USA. The guard at the gate was not allowed to let anyone in who wasn't a citizen of the United States. The solider suggested that the guard ask him a few questions to prove in nationally. The guard then repl…

Best submarine As the Cold War is ending, peacetalks are being held between the USA and the USSR. Two sailors, one Soviet and one US, are sharing cigarettes and are looking at the grand show of military power from a nearby pier. The American boast about the US navy: (with a thick Texan accent) **""Our submarines are state of the art and can stay submerged for weeks at a time! There is nothing that you reds could do about it!""** The soviet sailor replies: (in heavily accented English) *""HA! Our…

Ahhhhh Americans.... Americans: ""Please divert your coarse 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision Canadians : ""We recommend that you divert YOUR course 15 degrees South to avoid a collision"" Americans: ""This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I repeat, you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the North."" Canadians: ""No, i repeat one more time. You divert YOUR course."" Americans: ""This is the aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln, The second largest ship in the United States' Atlantic fle…

A Russian in the USA A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, ""Thank you Mr. American for letting me come into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, and a free education!"" The passerby says, ""You are mistaken, I am a Mexican."" The man goes on and encounters another passerby. ""Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America ."" The person says, ""I not American, I Viet…