Tour guide A tour bus is going through the Highlands when the guide spots a sheep with its head stuck in the fence. He stops the bus and gets out, saying ""watch this"" and then bangs the sheep. When he's finished, he zips up and asks ""does anyone else want to have a turn?"" Another guy from the tour says ""sure, I will"" and sticks his head in the fence.

Inferiority Complex An American was backpacking across the highlands, when he came across a small village where he decided to spend the night. Upon entering the local pub that evening for some drinks with the locals, he found himself in a conversation with one particularly drunk and indignant individual. ""Ya see that fence out there?"" The old man asked the backpacker. ""I built that fence with me own hands. But ya think they call me MacGregor the fence builder? No!"" ""And that church out ther…

One night at a pub . . . A Scottish man, an Englishman and an Irishman sit in a pub and discuss the best pubs around. The Englishman says, ""There's a pub in the West Midlands where the landlord buys you a drink for every one that you buy."" The Scot is not impressed and says, ""That's nothing! In the Highlands, every time you buy a drink, the landlord buys you five."" The Irishman, totally unimpressed, says, ""That's nothing. In Dublin there's this pub where the landlord buys your drinks all ni…

A Scottish man an Englishman and an Irishman were sitting in a pub discussing the best pubs around. The Englishman says ''There's a pub in the West Midlands where the landlord buys you a drink for every that you buy.'' The Scot is not impressed and says ''That's nothing! In the Highlands every time you buy a drink the landlord buys you five.'' At this point the Englishman is fairly impressed. The Irishman totally unimpressed says ''That's nothing. In Dublin there's this pub where the landlord bu…