Two soldiers.. ..came across a dead animal and an argument began. One soldier said it was a donkey, the other claimed it to be a mule. An officer happened by and they asked him to settle it. He said stiffly, ""It's an ass; Now dig a hole and bury it!"" As they were digging and grumbling, a pretty, little nurse walked by and asked sweetly, ""What are you boys digging? A fox hole?"" The soldiers grinned and dryly answered, ""nope.""

A Scottish soldier goes to the US for special military training... The next day morning he goes to the platoon and after looking at him the officer asks him: \- Private, did you come here to die? To which he responds: \- No sir, I came here yesterday.

The Pope goes to New York and gets picked up at the airport by a limousine. When he sees the car, he motions to the driver and says: "Do you mind if I ask you a favor?" "A favor for the Pope??" exclaims the driver, "of course - anything!" "You know, I hardly ever get to drive, and I'd really like it if I got to drive now. Would you please let me?" The thought of the Pope getting behind the wheel scared the driver - what if he got into an accident? On the other hand, the driver felt…

Is There a War? Two women neighbors are talking. 'Mary, what's wrong with you? Are you ill? I saw the doctor coming out of your house twice last week.' 'So what? I saw an officer coming out of your house five times last week but I'm not saying that a war has broken out.'