Three mothers see a psychologist They've brought their kids with them. The psychologist says, ""It looks like you all have obsessions, and you've named your children after them."" He says to the first mother, ""You have an obsession with cars, which is why you named your daughter Mercedes"" He moves onto the second mom, ""Your obsession is money. Your child's name is Penny, which reflects that."" Finally he turns to the third mother. ""At first I was puzzled by your choice, but I realized it was…

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. ""You all have obsessions"" he observed. To the first mother he said ""You are obsessed with eating. You even named your daughter Candy."" He turned to the second mom. ""Your obsession is money. Again it manifests itself in your child's name Penny."" He turned to the third mom. ""Your obsession is alcohol and your child's name is Brandy."" At this point the fourth mother got up took her little…

Light bulb jokes How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the Diet Coke and one to call daddy. How many real men does it take to change a light bulb? Real men aren't afraid of the dark. How many militant feminists does it take to change a light bu..THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!! How many Altzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side. How many attention-deficit-disorder-kids does it take to change a light bulb? Look, a bunny. Ho…

What causes arthritis? A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fel…