A man suffered from terrible constipation. The doctor asked him about his diet, and the man admitted that the only vegetable he ever ate was peas. "That's almost certainly the cause of your constipation," said the doctor. "All those peas you've been eating have clogged up your system. I'm afraid you'll have to give them up for good." A few years later, the man was sitting in a restaurant with his boss and the boss's wife. The boss's wife said: "If there's one thing I miss in life, it's a nice piece of cheese. But I had to give it up for health reasons." The boss said: "It's the same with me and beer. I'd love a pint, but the doctor has warned me not to." "I know how you feel," said the man. "I haven't had a pea in six years." The boss immediately jumped to his feet and screamed: "Right, anyone who can't swim, grab a table!"