A mother told her little boy: "Stop pulling the cat's tail!" "I'm not," he protested. "I'm just holding it. The cat's doing the pulling." Cat Commandments Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard while thy human is using the computer. Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem. Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou art not transparent. Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and start licking thy butt. Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face. Thou shalt not use thy human's legs as a climbing frame. Thou shalt not pee over the side of thy litter tray. Thou shalt not play with the Christmas tree decorations. Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll. Thou shalt not hide dead mice behind radiators. Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's lap. Thou shalt not steal food from thy human's dinner plate while his back is momentarily turned. Thou shalt not trip any humans even if they are walking too slowly. Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in the house. Thou shalt not secretly use thy human's shoes as a storage place for furballs. Thou shalt not climb on garbage cans with hinged lids, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself. Thou shalt not breathe cat food breath in thy human's face. Thou shalt not sit on thy human's pillow immediately after using thy litter tray. Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it. Thou shalt not climb curtains. Thou shalt not jump onto a seat just as thy human is sitting down. Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.