#waffle-house

"This is why I hate fancy restaurants, I can never pronounce anything on the menu" -me, drunk, holding the Waffle House menu upside down

I secretly gave our Waffle House waitress a $100 tip and my family can't figure out why she's crying & hugging me & trying to get in our car

I don't always eat breakfast in my underwear but when I do, I get escorted out of Waffle House.

I think my Waffle House waitress moonlights with AT&T; because I'm getting absolutely no service.

I want to make a movie where RoboCop gets laid off due to budget cuts and has to work at a Waffle House.

My options are limited but … Just overheard at a Waffle House … Two elderly guys were having breakfast next to us. One guy reflectively said: “Well at 81 my options on what to do are limited. … But hey, maybe I can run for President.”

Hagrid is so fat The Sorting Hat put him in the Waffle House

What has 12 breasts and 24 teeth? The night shift at Waffle House.