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Ted and Mike were out walking in the country when Ted turned to Mike and said: "I really need to take a crap." "There's a tree," said Mike. "Why don't you go behind that?" Ted looked at the tree and said: "But I don't have any toilet paper." "You've got a dollar, haven't you?" asked Mike. "You can wipe yourself with that." Reluctantly Ted took his advice, disappeared behind the tree and did his business. Minutes later, he came back with crap all over his hands. "What happened?" asked Mike. "Didn…

#Ted#Reluctantly Ted
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Betty, the self-appointed moral guardian and general busybody of a small town, publicly accused a local man, Ted, of being an alcoholic purely because she had seen his pickup truck parked outside the town's only bar one afternoon. A man of few words, Ted stared at her for a moment and then walked off without saying anything. Later that evening, he parked his pickup truck in front of Betty's house and left it there all night.

#Ted#Bettys#Military#Driving+1 more
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Bill and Ted were chatting in the pub. Bill said, “Ted, have you any idea what I did before I married Eileen?” “No, what?” “Whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted!” sighed Bill.

#Ted#Eileen#Marriage#Bar
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