#state-farm

Jake from State Farm lives with us now, our house is full of khaki pants, he is making khaki pants for dinner.

If State Farm were such a good neighbor they'd come over and pick up all the dog shit in my yard.

I'm pretty sure if Flo from Progressive and Jake from State Farm hooked up, the universe would explode.

Just changed the names of all the girls in my contact list to: "Jake, from State Farm".

Wife: Where did all this glitter come from? Me: Jake, at State Farm.

Like a good neighbor State Farm and I haven't ever spoken.