#sir-were

Two Hunters A classic... Two hunters are out shooting turkey. One of them takes a leak, and gets bitten by a big black rattlesnake. The other hunter shoots the snake, but is too late: his friend got deeply bit on his wiener. So, he calls 911 and proceeds to explain the situation: ""my friend got bit by a rattlesnake, blablabla, what should I do?"" - Relax, sir. We're sending a helicopter right away. In the meantime, we need you to suck on the bite so as to take the venom out. It's the only way t…

Bubba n' Buford II One day Bubba n' Buford were drivin' down the Farm to Market road in their pickup drinkin' Lone Star longnecks n' chillin' out to Bob Wills ""San Antonio Rose"" n' low n' behold, they come over a hilltop and there's a DPS roadblock a stoppin' folks. Thinkin' quick, Bubba pulls over to the side a the road n' Buford says ""What we gonna do, you get another DUI n' they gonna throw away the key n' I'm still on probation for that thing with the duck at the theater!"" Suddenly Bubba…

A man leaves a bar gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards further he's stopped by a police officer. Officer: ""Good evening sir. We're testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please blow into this machine?"". Man: ""I'm sorry I can't do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that machine I will get out of air"". Officer: ""Please come along to the office and we can give you a blood test"". Man: ""I can't do that. I have anemia and if you stick a needle in me I will bleed to death"". O…