#road-he

So a truck driver is driving through the country when he sees a penguin in the middle of the road..... He pulls over and looks around, but can't see anyone. So he picks up the penguin, puts him in the cab of his truck, and continues on his way. A couple of miles down the road he gets pulled over by a cop. The cop walks up to the truck and asks, ""What are you doing with that penguin in your cab?"" The truck driver thinks for a second and says, ""Well, he was just sitting in the middle of the roa…

A guy wants to join a church A guy goes up to the pastor and says ""I would like to join your church."" The pastor says ""You can't just join...you have to prove you know something about the bible. Tell me, where was Jesus born?"" ""Ummm...Pittsburgh?"" ""That's not right"" says the Pastor. ""Get out of my church."" The guy goes to the church down the street. Once again, the pastor says ""You have to know something about the bible to be in our church. Where was Jesus born?"" ""Ummm...Philadelphi…

Why didn't the schizo cross the road He was in two minds about it.

A redneck is driving down the road... He sees a black guy walking along the side. He swerves, hits the black guy, and goes ""One more nigger handled rightly."" A little farther down the road, he sees another black guy, does the same, and again jokes, ""Cleaning up America, one nigger at a time."" Now a little farther down the same road he sees a priest hitchhiking. 'Can't let a man of the cloth walk when the lord's been so good to me,' he thinks as he pulls over and picks up the priest. Going do…

Indian On The Road I'm driving from Santa Fe to Albuquerque when I see an American Indian lying on the road with his ear to the ground. Curious, I pull over, walk up to him and ask, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" He says, "Silver 1991 Chevy station wagon, one man, one woman, two children". I say, "Wow, you can tell all that just by listening to the road?" He says, "Heck no, they just ran me over".

A large, elderly woman was waiting at the side of the road. When a young man approached, she asked him: "Can you see me across the road?" He said: "I can see you half a mile away." I broke up with a girl once because she lied about her weight. I say that, she died in a bungeejumping accident. Jimmy Carr