#plane

"IS THERE A DOCTOR ON THE PLANE???" [i stand up super fast & knock myself out on the luggage compartment, requiring another doctor]

PEOPLE OF THE PLANE LISTEN TO ME WHEN THE SEATBELT LIGHT GOES OFF STAND UP IMMEDIATELY OR YOUR SPOT IN THE NON-MOVING LINE WON'T BE ASSURED

Germanwings 'Knock Knock' joke. *Knock Knock* Who's there? *A Germanwings pilot* A Germanwings pilot who? **LUBITZ, LET ME IN GODDAMNIT, YOU'RE GONNA CRASH THE PLANE!!**

The plane is falling! An American, a Mexican and a Chinese man are all sitting on a plane. The flight attendant says ""EMERGENCY! WE NEED TO DROP 200 POUNDS OFF THE PLANE OR WE WILL FALL"" Chinese man - ""Oh, I throw off rice, we have too much of this in our country!"" Mexican - ""No! I throw off cheese and beans, too much of these in our country!"" American - *The American shoves the Mexican off the plane* ""We have too much of these in our country!"" No, I am not racist, but if a joke is racis…