#nelson

No-Hands-Nelson A guy's being picked up at the airport and is waiting for his reserved cab, #21, to pick him up. Another taxi driver is also waiting at the pickup area for his fares. The guy walks up and asks him ""Hey, I've been waiting here #21 to pick me up for a while, is he stuck in traffic?"" ""#21? No-Hands-Nelson!? He's a terrible driver! Especially what with the no hands thing."" The guy takes a little offense to this. ""Sir, I'll have you know I'm not prejudiced to people with disabili…

This man knocks on Nelson Mandela's door. The maid opens and sees this guy with a clipboard. "" we have to deliver this truckload of car parts to this address"" he tells her. "" I'm afraid you have the wrong address"" she told him "" this is a private residence"" . With this, the man goes away but within an hour he is back, insisting that directions from the locals all referred to this address. To prove his point, he shows the maid the consignee details on his clipboard "" Nissan main dealer"".

Nelson Mandela went on holiday, and booked into a hotel. After his first day he went to bed, however he was awoken in the morning by someone knocking at his door. The man at the door said ""Are you Nelson Mandela?"" ""Yes"" He replied ""Well, I've got a parcel for you"" The man replied He was very confused by this, as no one even knew he was staying there. When he opened it, there was a bunch of steering wheels inside, which was even more strange as he couldn't drive. He got on with the rest of …

The only thing we can anticipate about Nelson Mandela's condition is that his rap discography is about to skyrocket in the charts.

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling, 'You Sign! You sign!' Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhaust pipes. Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to yell louder. 'You Sign! You sign!' Nelson says to him, 'Look, you've obviously got the wrong man',and shuts the door in his face. The next day …

Nelson Mandela... Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a Japanese man, clutching a clipboard and yelling, "You Sign! You sign!" Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Japanese man starts to yell louder: "You sign! You sign!" Nelson says to him, "Look, you've obviously got the wrong man", and shuts the door. The next day …

The Wrestler. There's an up-and-coming wrestler, and I mean a real wrestler not that glitzy camp showman stuff. Sweat and muscle. And he's good; with the able assistance of his manager, he's rising steadily in the ranks. In fact he's so good, that he decides he can do it - he asks his manager to set up a title fight with The Champ. "No way," the manager says. "Impossible. You just ain't ready." "I am ready chief, I just know I am! I can do it!" "No," the manager replies, "you can't. The Champ…

Did you hear about the sign language translator at Nelson Mandela's funeral? Neither did his audience.