Lindsay Lohan walked into a bank to withdraw some money. The bank clerk asked: "Can you identify yourself?" Lindsay opened her handbag, looked in a mirror and said: "Yes, it's definitely me." Heard a report about Lindsay Lohan getting busted with coke in her car. That's a story? Call me when they find a book in her car. Dave Attell I can't believe Amy Winehouse self-harms. She's so irritating she must be able to find someone to do it for her. Zoe Lyons

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