#greenland

Isn't it weird that Greenland is icy and Iceland is where my wife moved when she left me

What is cold? (note: to get the temperature into Fahrenheit: multiply by 9, divide by 5, then add 32) +10C The inhabitants of Helsinki (Finland) turn off their heating. The Laps (inhabitants of Lapland) plant flowers. +5C The Laps take a sun-bath (if the sun gets over the horizon) +2C Italian cars won't start. 0C Pure water freezes. -1C Exhaled air becomes visible. Time to book some holidays around the Mediterranean. The Laps eat ice-cream & drink cold beer. -4C The cat wants to share my duv…

A Priest and Uluru joke/riddle I know that this will be long, but its totally worth it. So, their is this traveler, by the name of John, who loves travelling around the world. He has been to 153 countries and seen what their is to see (Eiffel tower, Statue of Liberty, Taj Mahal, Great wall of China etc.) He has previously been to Australia before, but didn't see Uluru (he was only their for three days) So, he decided to go from New York-Sydney-Alice Springs-Uluru. He went by QANTAS, you need to …

The Sami temperature scale (ed: the Sami are an indigineous people living in the northern parts of Scandinavia, also called Lapland) +10C: Inhabitants of Helsinki turn off the heat. The Sami plant flowers. +5C: If the sun rises over the horizon, it's sunbathing time for the Sami +2C: Italian cars won't start. 0C: Water freezes. -1C: Breath is visible. Time to plan a vacation in the mediterrean. The Sami eat ice cream and drink chilled beer. -4C: The cat wants to share the bed with you. -10C: Tim…

A US Air Force C-141 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's preflight check, he discovered that the aircraft's latrine holding tank was still full from the last flight. So a message was sent to the base, and an airman who was off duty is called out to take care of it. The young man finally got to the air base and made his way to the aircraft, only to find that the latrine pump truck had been left outdoors and was frozen solid, so he had to find another o…

An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft's sewage holding tank. The Aircraft Commander was in a hurry the truck was late in arriving and the Airman performing the job was extremely slow in getting the tank pumped out. When the commander berated the Airman for his slowness and promised punishment the Airman responded: ""Sir I have no stripes it is 20 below zero I'm stationed in Gre…

A Priest working in a remote parish in Greenland gets his yearly visit from his Bishop. The Bishop asks him, "How are you managing with the loneliness?" The Priest responds, " If it wasn't for my Rosary and my whiskey, I couldn't make it. Would you like a shot of whiskey?" The Bishop nods his head yes. The Priest yells out, "Hey Rosary, bring us two shots of whisky "

How does Greenland win a war? Nuuks.