#german

A Dark Joke A marine hits the beach during D-Day. As he wades ashore under fire he drops his gun in the water. He runs up to his commander and says, ""Sergent! I lost my gun!"" ""Son! If you see a German, pretend you're holding a gun, point it at that sonnofabitch and shout 'Bangity-bang-bang'!"". The marine thinks this is dumb, but advances up the beach, sees a German, points his fingers at him, and shouts ""Bangity-bang-bang!!"". The German falls over dead. The marine thinks this is ok, and mo…

I went to this great German bar They called it the Wunderbar

So a new soldier gets drafted into ww1... After the first few days I'm the trenches, his lieutenant calls the group together and says ""Men, today is the day we take the fight to the Germans. Ready yourselves as we are going to go over the walls and take the enemy trench and send every German we can to hell!"" The new private looks at him embarrassed and say, ""Sir....I've lost my rifle sir."" The officers looks at him and very seriously tells him ge can charge without a rifle and leaves. The ne…

A Jew, a German, and and an Irishman are stranded in the desert. The German falls to his hands and knees and cries out, ""I'm tired! I'm thirsty! I need a nice German beer."" The Irishman does the same, mumbling, ""I'm tired! ""I'm thirsty! I need a Guinness."" The Jew looks down and says, ""I'm tired! I'm thirsty! I must have diabetes.""

Not Another Russian Joke! Three poor souls are languishing in Gulag and have violated the camp curfew. The punishment for the this is 10 lashes across the back. The camp warden is a somewhat compassionate and he allows the three to choose one item to place on their backs to minimize the injury. The first prisoner was a German scientist and, thinking himself brilliant, asked that they spread motor oil across his back, hoping the lubrication would cause the whip to slide off rather than stic…

I’ve spent the day in a German police station. Word to the wise… Don’t go hailing a taxi in Germany like you do in other countries.