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#beyonce

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Jay Z and Beyonce had a 4 million dollar dinner with Obama.... Wtf did they eat? Fresh dinosaur?

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Beyonce didn't almost fall everyone else just messed up

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How would I describe myself in three words? Eats anything. Beyonce.

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more celebrities should donate blood like could you imagine having the blood of Beyonce running through your veins

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Beyonce made a song called "Single Ladies" then went home to her husband and left you lonely hoes dancing in a circle pretending to be happy

#Beyonce#Marriage
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I met Jay-Z in '09 and he said "Meet my fiance, Beyonce" and I was like "That rhymes, you should rap!" and we laughed and he sold me crack.

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Teacher: you can be anything you want Me: Beyonce Her: well, not that (we stare at each other blankly for 17 min...) Me: Hi I'm Beyonce

#Beyonce#Teacher
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While it's true that gay marriage doesn't nullify straight marriage, if Beyonce was born on your birthday it's not your birthday anymore.

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so sick of people who aren't Beyonce

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STOP EDITING YOUR PICS, what if you go missing? How tf can we find you if you look like Beyonce on Instagram but Waka Flocka in real life?

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Beyonce was Destiny's Child. The other two were adopted.

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imagined Beyonce taking a dump and it ruined my morning

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Beyonce should have her own trampoline company.

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Pregnant - Beyonce Pregnant with twins - Beytwice

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DRAKE: I'll drop the best album of 2016. BEYONCE: Nah. DRAKE: The best album of... April? BEYONCE: Nah. DRAKE: Please don't do this to me.

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Every time Beyonce types out her name, she has to google "Pokemon" and then copy/paste the "e".

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(confronts Beck in line at Jamba Juice, holds up hurried sketch of Beyonce, aggressively does "Single Ladies" dance)

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It's decided. If I have 3 kids they're getting named "Bed" "Bath" and "Beyonce."

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I bet every time Beyonce leaves a restaurant everyone fights over who gets to smell her chair

#Beyonce#Food#One-Liner
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when i was 17 my bucket list was "buy a house" & "marry a tycoon" now i'm 27 it's "tickle a baby hedgehog" and "learn Beyonce choreography"

#Beyonce#Kids
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Beyonce: I cannot wait to slum it with some earth mortals at - wait what is it called again? Jay-Z: Coachella. Beyonce: Coachella.

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If Jay-Z is married to Beyonce and is a multimillionaire and still has 99 problems then there ain't no hope for the rest of us

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which is the Beyonce song where it's like we're independent but also you should marry us but like we're super-strong but also pay our bills

#Beyonce
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- "I love Beyonce... - Whatever floats your boat dude. - No, you're thinking of 'buoyancy'. - ..."

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.@Beyonce can you feed my turtles while I'm on vacation

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