God: make alcohol really fun Angel: haha ok God: but it makes them stupid Angel: i dont know if- God: and if they have too much they die

Hell is an eternity of being sober in a room full of drunk people.

[creating the armadillo] GOD: I want a half turtle, ANGEL: Okay G: Half pig, A: Okay, I'm on it- G: Half anteater A: ...Are u drunk G: Very

Just told everybody in the bar to shut the hell up so my date could hear the full effect of my velcro wallet opening.