trump: ban muslims jeb bush: i disagree. just like dad would. who used to be president ben carson: how did spongebob make fire underwater

I can still blame my unhealthy eating on "the holidays", right? President's Day is coming up.

Mitt Romney has decided not to run for president. In other news, I have decided not to become a billionaire or play in the NBA.

"Hey, my eyes are up here! LOL, just kidding, they're everywhere." - the government