Baked turkey for 4 and a half days - instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108! #MyProblem
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Baked turkey for 4 and a half days - instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108! #MyProblem
My 2yr old pointed at my crotch and said, "Big pee pee!" I'm taking him with me everywhere I go from now on.
Her: What brings you to speed dating? Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.
I'm only watching the royal wedding for the bishop. I've always wanted to see a person who only moves diagonally.
When I was in 3rd grade my teacher smoking in the classroom told us not to tell well I'm telling you now
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