Looking for a nice, wholesome girl I can bring home to mom. She only dates nice, wholesome girls

Tim Burton could've saved a lot of money on 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' and just shown a 2016 Facebook Year in Review instead.

As a father of girls, I think the best interview method for potential suitors will be: "Let me see your phone"

Went to take out money from the ATM and hit Espanol by accident.It replied, 'Nice try, you don't get paid until all the onions are chopped'.