Stranger: "Excuse me where is the nearest..." Me: "GOOGLE IT!"

Kids: haha you have to work and we don't have school today Me *closing the front door* I changed the wifi password. Love you guys!

Whenever I'm behind a college girl in starbucks she has to order a triple mocha dark chocolate raspberry ugg boot white iphone 5 spice latte

Went to "The Social Network." I ran into people I didn't like in high school and they kept showing me pictures of their kids.